ANONYMOUS – “She kicked me out of her place, butt naked!”

 I had started my two-year journey through Europe and decided to use Austria as my base. I had been travelling about three months and had come and gone out of this little town a few times and met a few people there. This one particular day I was at a pub and I had been drinking with a few friends almost all of the afternoon.  It was just before Christmas and about -10 degrees outside, so not much else to do. I started talking to a girl who seemed vaguely familiar after I was already well on the way and we got along very well.
 
After we had drunk quite a few beers and had some shots she asked me to come back to her place and, let’s be honest, I was never going to say no. She did however stipulate there was one condition – I had to promise not to wet the bed… she had heard things about me… I agreed.

Of course I acted as sober as I could in my inebriated state and we went back to her place, we did the deed and went to sleep, or so I thought…
I woke up early the next morning in her hallway, shivering, with a sheet over me which I must have pulled out of her linen cupboard. She was standing over me and screaming at me in full voice! What the hell has happened?!?

She kicked me out of her place butt naked, without even letting me grab my clothes on the way out. I was left standing at her front door, confused, cold and naked, banging on the door and asking her to let me back in.  I thought all I had done was to go to the bathroom during the night and then not make it back to bed! I had no idea why she was so mad at me!
While I was standing out the front of her place stark naked in the freezing cold, I tried to cover myself as well as I could while people from the neighbouring apartments were walking past going to work. Needless to say I copped some bemused looks.

 Eventually she opened the door and threw my clothes at me. I got dressed and tried to find out from her what I had done, but she was still very angry and just shut the door in my face. I just got dressed and then went home, freshened up, and went to work still wondering what the hell I had done.

A couple of weeks passed, it was the new year and I ran into the same girl in another pub. I built up the courage to go over and ask if there was anything else I had done that made her so angry, besides not making it back to bed. She then looked at me incredulously and asked “You truly don’t remember what happened?”
I told her that I didn’t. She proceeded to tell me: “Before passing out in my hallway, you didn’t find the bathroom.”
I started to get a few flashbacks but still couldn’t quite piece it together. I asked her exactly what it was I had done. She looked dismayed and through gritted teeth told me,

“You pissed all over the Christmas tree in my apartment! All over the presents I had bought for my family and friends. There were silk scarfs and clothes and a lot of other presents that you completely ruined!”
I was of course in shock!  But, I couldn’t deny it because as she was telling me, pieces started falling into place… the flashbacks began to make more sense and it definitely explained why she was so irate with me! I have since been known as “The Grinch who stole Christmas”.
I apologised unreservedly and bought her some drinks with no intention of going back to her place this time.
 
Perhaps the most interesting thing about this is that after all the dust had settled, we remained friends.  She still, to this day, is going out with a good friend of mine over there… Thank goodness time heals all wounds!


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